Datsko

“Be good. Don’t be the talk of the town. Don’t drink spirits. Don’t step out in front of a horse or stand still in the road and wait and make men wait for you to cross. Don’t take up too much space. Don’t spread your knees when you sit. Watch out. Don’t talk to men who walk right up to you. Put your coins in a purse and keep a hand on it if some fool gives you a kiss. Put folks at ease. Don’t sit there on your own. Look at everyone in the room but don’t stare. Be cool and calm. And don’t let fools kiss you. Why don’t you listen to me? I give you what I can and get left by the fire in my old age. Now, mind your mouth. Don’t sass, just like you don’t sass me if you know what is good for you. Don’t let your sour looks or smart mouth get you in the soup. Don’t look at me like that—and don’t look me in the eye for sure if you know what’s good for you. This is your one chance, so don’t be scared to stand up and take what is yours. Don’t let folks run you down. Don’t scare them and don’t be loud and don’t push too hard. Sure, now you start to cry. Don’t you know how good you have it?  Put that down. I’m not so old yet. I got two, three years left in me. I’m still strong, and I breathe and piss on my own. Was it what I said? That mallet's best kept behind the door until it's my time, and it’s not my time. Or so it is. I tried to do right by you, and this is the thanks I get. Make it quick. Swing true. Swing hard, like with my ma. I wish we'd talked more.”

A brief piece based on an entry I once read in late-19th-century amateur antiquarian's publication.